Blue Nettles

Thanks, Dad for responding with your thoughts!

I, too agree that we are each made up very uniquely. As a family group (Blue family of 7) when we were kids, I think it was easy to be that “family group” because we didn’t have extended family close by. It was fairly simple to have a family dinner, outing, event. We were a solid family together. We had limited contact with extended family; visits through the years with a few extended visits, correspondence by mail/phone. As adults, we have all gone in different directions.

That’s interesting- your comments about our dynamics remaining some of the same as far as parent/child and birth order. I do still feel the parent/child dynamic but with my siblings- I think of us as equals at this point. But this is coming from the “baby sister” and maybe I don’t realize that I still am viewed by my older siblings as the “baby sister”. I really would hope for equal ground at this point.

Dad, you mention your relationship with Lois. That’s very interesting to me because as you tell about how close you were as children and early adulthood- it eventually grew apart. Why did Lois abandon her ties with her siblings? I’ve heard you talk some about it. At the time that you felt the distancing- did you ever talk about what was going on? It seems from what I have picked up- that you were always interested in more contact with your family- but not as much effort happened from Uncle Charles and Aunt Lois- maybe a little more effort with Aunt Mackie?

So, you mention Uncle Carl Thompson’s family- what keeps them keeping their ties? That’s impressive.

Clearly, everyone sees how our dynamics are now- in different ways. What feels like “keeping in touch” to one feels like “not enough” to another. Acknowledging that we’re all in different places with this opinion. Those of us with spouses, have the influence of them and what the connections of family means. For myself, I was obviously drawn to the family dynamics of Duane’s family. Here I grew up in a large family and felt comfortable with the togetherness of his family as well. As I got to know his extended family; aunts, uncles, cousins, grandmothers- I embraced that dynamic. Now, with my own children- that circle has grown even bigger. I love those connections. It’s a big, cold world out there and I love knowing we have those relationships. That’s Duane’s family. I don’t really compare my side of the family to his- but I’m drawn to looking at the dynamics of both. I also am drawn to the dynamics of friends’ families as well. I have loved learning about all of our family history. We have great connections and stories that have traveled through the years. I look forward to all of the times we get together- whether it’s others’ visits to Salt Lake or when we’ve traveled to others homes. I love seeing my daughters in conversations/play with their cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. It feels like the way it should be. I guess this is where I’m at with family relationships. While I definitely pursue my own life and outside friendships- I never feel like I’ve had enough extended family time. I believe it’s the time together and conversations that keep that togetherness. Without that, it seems by some examples of other families- that a family grows more distant. They end up losing the connections and history together. Even with differences in personalities and opinions, it shouldn’t become more distant yet should be even more interesting and enriching to put us all together often.

Well, there are some of my thoughts.

Love, Kay

// posted by duanemeganmarisakayfamily @ 11:40 AM